Last week, I felt like I was having a panic attack. I could feel the perspiration gather on my face. I could feel my chest becoming warm. A million thoughts were rushing in my mind. What caused this, you ask. I thought I had lost my journal. Seriously. I know for someone who doesn’t journal, I probably sound melodramatic and a drama queen, but for those of you who do journal, I know you understand my anxiety. Let me explain. A journal is a prized, cherished possession because it allows you to be yourself in a safe, nurturing environment. In a journal, at least in a successful one, you strip yourself naked. You are unmasked, vulnerable, and painfully honest with yourself. In a journal, you write down your most personal thoughts and feelings. For me, journal writing is necessary. It is a way for me to vent. It is a way for me to grow. It is a way for me to evolve spiritually, and when I use the would spiritually, I’m not necessarily speaking about religion. I’m referring to the energy that lives within in me and elevating it to a higher level (I’m a Pisces, so I liked to go underneath the surface). Although journal writing is therapeutic, who wants the world to see who you really are? Not I. So, the thought of someone discovering the real me had me shaking in my boots. I’ve always wondered would I want my journals to be published. And now I know my answer. Heck naw! So, the moral of this story is to keep up with your journal when you are traveling because you don’t want to feel like you have lost a piece of yourself. As for me, luckily my journal was at my grandmother’s house and I had forgotten to put it in my bag. My aunt mailed my beloved journal via postal mail without reading it, thank God. If you have had a similar experience—having lost a journal or thinking you have lost it—please share and post your comment. I’d love to hear from you. Really, folks.
Tag Archives: journey
One of the great things about attending graduate school is the people you meet: students, professors, and visiting artists. I remember my first day at the University of Baltimore. Classes were held in the Charles Royal building, which had an underground bohemian vibe. The lighting was dim, the carpet was dark, and the conference tables were dark wood. I felt like I had submerged into a secret writing society. At the time, I was working at the public library as a children’s librarian, but I wanted to do something else in my life, even though the children were cute as a button. I always wanted to write a book, but that didn’t seem like a practical thing to do. But when you have a dream, it lives within you, especially when you aren’t following your life path. So, I took a chance on my dream and so far so good. My short story, “Elvis,” was published electronically in The Baltimore Urbanite, August 2009, Emerging Writers Issue. In the spring semester of 2010, I took electronic publishing and got introduced to the world of blogging. Now, I have four blogs. In March 2010, my friend published my short story, “Elvis,” again, but this time with photographs of my book, Chocolate Dreams (2009) and an article written by me on how to make a hardback book. So, my advice to you is to listen to your voice. It might be small and meek or it can be loud and aggressive, but listen to it, and hopefully it leads you on the right path.